Job Offer, Anyone Want In?? :)

I got this in email from The Brat Factor and thought it was cute...

POSITION :
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Mum, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Pa, Pop

JOB DESCRIPTION :

Long term, team players needed, for challenging, permanent
work in an often chaotic environment.

Candidates must possess excellent communication and organ-
izational skills and be willing to work variable hours,
which will include evenings and weekends and frequent 24
hour shifts on call.

Some overnight travel required, including trips to primitive
camping sites on rainy weekends and endless sports tournaments
in far away cities!

Travel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.

RESPONSIBILITIES :

For the rest of your life you must:

Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily, until
someone needs $5.

Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.

Must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule and
be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat in
case, this time, the screams from the backyard are not someone
just crying wolf.

Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
such as small gadget repair,mysteriously sluggish toilets
and stuck zippers.

Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and coordinate
production of multiple homework projects.

Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings
for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.

Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute, an
embarrassment the next.

Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a half
million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.

Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.

Must assume final, complete accountability for the quality
of the end product.

Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and janitorial
work throughout the facility.

POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION :

None.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years, without
complaining, constantly retraining and updating your skills,
so that those in your charge can ultimately surpass you.

PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE :

None required unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

WAGES AND COMPENSATION :

Get this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
A balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because of the
assumption that college will help them become financially
independent.

When you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

BENEFITS :

While no health or dental insurance, no pension, no tuition
reimbursement, no paid holidays and no stock options are
offered; this job supplies limitless opportunities for
personal growth, unconditional love,and free hugs and kisses
for life if you play your cards right.


PARENTS in appreciation for everything you do on a daily basis,
please know that you are appreciated for the fabulous job you do.
** THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!!

Laundry

Yesterday while doing load after load of puke filled wash (JJ was sick, poor little guy) I ran out of laundry detergent, rather than run out and spend $10 or even $2 on a new bottle, I just go into my stash of homemade and get some more. It's awesome to know exactly what is in it, it's awesome to not have to worry about that expense, it's awesome to know that it's always right there and the best part of it all was that it reduces the coast per load to nothing. Let's compare shall we?

This week at CVS Tide is on sale for $5.99 (wow thats a great sale for Tide!) for the liquid that is 24-32 loads.

$5.99 divided by (we'll do the largest bottle) 32 = 19 cents per load.

My homemade version, works just as well as tide and costs 1 cent per load or less.

Here is the breakdown:

Fels Naptha Bar Soap $1.79 per bar or you can use Ivory or any other bar soap (nothing heavily perfumed though)
20 Mule Team Borax $4.49 for 76 oz.
Arm & Hammer Super Washing Soda $3.49 for 55 oz.

So it costs (approx varies depending on your local pricing) $2.39 to make one batch. One batch makes 10 gallons which is approx 180 loads. So $2.39 divided by 180 = 0.01 and a bunch of numbers after that. If you have Ivory bar soap around the house subtract the bar of soap and wow your under one cent per load! Here is the recipe I used:

Homemade liquid laundry soap

Ingredients:
4 cups hot tap water
1 Fels-Naptha soap bar
1 cup washing soda
½ cup Borax

• Grate bar of soap and add to saucepan with water. Stir continually over medium-low heat until soap dissolves and is melted.
  
  
• Fill a five-gallon bucket half full of hot tap water. Add melted soap, washing soda and Borax. Stir well until all powder is dissolved. Fill bucket to top with more hot water. Stir, cover and let sit overnight to thicken. It will turn into a snot like gel, don't worry it's supposed to do that.
  
  
• Stir well and fill a used, clean, laundry soap dispenser half full with soap and then fill rest of way with water. Shake before each use.
  
  
• Optional: You can add 10-15 drops of essential oil per two gallons. Add once soap has cooled. Ideas: lavender, rosemary, tea tree oil.
  

• NEVER USE REGULAR BLEACH WITH THIS LAUNDRY SOAP RECIPE! It might not appear right away, but it creates toxic fumes, just as mixing bleach with pretty much anything else does as well. Whatever you do, please do not try mixing bleach with this thinking it will be okay! Color safe bleach powder is ok.
  

Yield: Liquid soap recipe makes 10 gallons. Top-load machine: 5/8 cup per load (approximately 180 loads). Front-load machine: ¼ cup per load (approx. 640 loads).

NOTE: There is also a powder version of this detergent that takes up much less space when made and works just as well.

Baby Steps

I got this in an email from Leanne from Saving Dinner.com and I loved it so much that I thought I should post it here. It's great advice for anyone that would like to read it (it's a little long but worth the read!) and it will serve as a great reminder to myself...

Dear Friends,

In the aftermath of Christmas, lie credit card bills in waiting, messes to be cleaned up both figuratively and literally, and most spectacularly, a gigantic hole in the heart for so many people. Why is this? In this joyous of all seasons, these moments captured by Kodak, why do we feel like this?

In a nutshell…ginormous expectations that are fueled by sappy commercials, holiday spreads in magazines too perfect to be real and people like Martha Stewart (God bless her), who feel that to achieve a picture perfect holiday, you have to do it all.

And then there are curmudgeons like me who secretly give Christmas a great big raspberry and wait with bated breath for the whole thing to be over. It’s not that I don’t love my family or the aspect of togetherness, it’s just the expense of it all and the expectation that to “do it right” you’ve gotta spend some big bucks, make it all homemade and give till you bleed. Can someone dial 911; I think I’m having a holiday aneurism!

But today, thanks be to God, is the day after. I didn’t meet all of my own expectations let alone those of my children’s. I was a schmuck toward most of my friends (I didn’t get anyone anything) and yet somehow I survived this holiday ordeal. I got through the fire and to the other side relatively unscathed, do I hear an amen?

New Year’s is looming and the whole idea of a clean fresh start is enticing. But with that enticement comes a whole new set of expectations and impediments—perfectionism being the main one. This is the year, you think to yourself, I’m gonna lose weight, get organized, save more money…name that tune. And ever present, among those lofty goals that somehow (without a plan) some way (without any thought) it will indeed get accomplished. This time anyway. And without a shadow of a doubt, we believe we can get everything done and accomplished by January 31st, latest. We go to the gym with our brand, spanking new gym membership and by week 1 after going for 5 days in a row, with muscles aching and lots of sweat, barely get thru week 2 and by week 3, we’ve all but thrown in the towel. We do the same thing with our diets, the same things with our get organized now ideas… the whole nine yards. Nothing works, we kick ourselves, we feel bad and we whine.

There is one answer and one answer only to all of these problems and a way to make all of these goals attainable. In a word (yes, we’ve made it A word) Babysteps. You cannot scrap your life and start over. Those pounds you wish you could wish away will not leave without consistent babysteps. Your house won’t get organized without them either.

Today is a new day with all it’s possibilities just waiting for us. If you string together, a plan, use babysteps and a timer to chart your journey, chances are better you’ll enjoy success. If you use the crash and burn method (AKA all or nothing) you’ll most likely be more discouraged than before.

Babysteps. The whole world of goals both big and small have been accomplished by incrementally crawling, then taking little steps till finally you can run. It’s not an overnight accomplishment, but rather one you can chart and watch. How fun is that?! The process is what makes it all worthwhile and believe it or not, that in and of itself is its on set of rewards.

Here’s to 2009!!
Love,
Leanne
http://www.savingdinner.com/